Unhappy is
he to whom the memories of childhood bring only fear and sadness. Wretched
is he who looks back upon lone hours in vast and dismal chambers with brown
hangings and maddening rows of antique books, or upon awed watches in twilight
groves of grotesque, gigantic, and vine-encumbered trees that silently wave
twisted branches far aloft. Such a lot the gods gave to meto me, the
dazed, the disappointed; the barren, the broken. And yet I am strangely content
and cling desperately to those sere memories, when my mind momentarily threatens
to reach beyond to the other.
I know not where I was born, save that the castle was infinitely old
and infinitely horrible, full of dark passages and having high ceilings where
the eye could find only cobwebs and shadows. The stones in the
crumbling
corridors seemed always hideously damp, and there was an accursed smell
everywhere, as of the piled-up corpses of dead generations. It was never
light, so that I used sometimes to light candles and gaze steadily at them
for relief, nor was there any sun outdoors, since the terrible trees grew
high above the topmost accessible tower. There was one black tower which
reached above the trees into the unknown outer sky, but that was partly ruined
and could not be ascended save by a well-nigh impossible climb up the sheer
wall,
stone
by
stone.
 |